I own my Trespasses

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If you cracked open my transgressions and saw their very core, I believe you would find in everything I have ever done wrong one common origin – the lust for control. It is the epicenter of my shame, insecurity, fear of failure, obsession with having a plan, my ache for answers, and my cheap attempts to console my doubt. To confess every way that I have used and abused the gift of Grace would take a lifetime. But to confess the central desire of my heart [to protect myself from all pain-even the necessary or Divine] only takes one painful minute. I am so very glad that I am given the gift of blamelessness; that I can hear the patient voice of Forgiveness calling me deeper every day into a knowledge and love of Calvary’s most compassionate inhabitant. It is because of my desire to be deserving of the sacrifices that my constant friend and companion made there, that I own my trespasses. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Here’s to losing control.

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