Addiction has always come naturally to me. I have heard it whispering in my ear my entire life. Sometimes it came to me in puffs and sometimes in sips; and sometimes in long, hard hours of work. Always it came to me like it came to Eve, begging me to eat what I know I shouldn’t. Admitting that food has always been about comfort and companionship for me and never about sustenance is the hardest thing I have had to do so far. Begging for my deliverance and believing for my recovery is the second. I am committed to healing because I want to take back my mind and stop thinking about food. I want to respect my body and stop the never-ending cycle of overeating and dieting. Because I find myself completely exhausted with trying to satisfy a God-sized hunger with sugar and fat, I am committed: to learning how to cope without food, to loving people and art not dessert, to eating real food and letting it nourish my body NOT my emotions. It’s not easy to tell the World Wide Web what it looks like inside of my head, but I don’t want anyone to think (even for one second) that they are alone.
“We all have something that digs at us.”