I trust your intentions

Morning coffee in Branson, MO

This morning I said aloud a phrase that has been brewing silently in my mind for far too long. || What if I don’t have the stuff it takes? || Those words practically choked me as they came through my lips. A wave of nerves hit my stomach in the same way that it sometimes does in anticipation of something important that you hope you won’t mess up.  Unknowingly and unintentionally, I have avoided the things for which I was not certain that I would be good. And now, in the midst of the realization that I might be ill-equipped to handle my life, God is telling me to trust that his intentions for me are good. The same God who is asking me to obey, to dig deep and face the failures that haven’t happened yet – the ones that I am afraid to encounter; makes a habit of doing significant things with insignificant people. I need the Savior in my chest as much now as I did when he first entered in, only now I am afraid. ||What if I don’t have the stuff it takes?|| Maybe there is no stuff. Maybe I only have the God in my heart and the rocks in my pockets with which to face my giants. Maybe it will take more bravery to find out what I am really made of than it does to be good at everything I do. But it is high time that I give in to the plans of a scary God, high time I stopped fearing my mistakes, and high time that I trust his heart and his intentions. 

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