To Isaac: “I love someone that was never born.” I saw that on a keychain that must have been made by a parent as empty as I am. I should have seen your face today, but instead I am using a due date calculator to try to convince myself that maybe I got the due date wrong. I never actually had one, not really. Maybe it’s tomorrow or maybe I missed it already. Even mothers who have lost their child have selfish mom moments. Well, mine is happening right now. … More To Isaac:
It’s like the light is out in the lighthouse and I don’t know how to navigate my life anymore. I never had the lighthouse to look at before, so why does it matter if the light is out now? How can someone that I never met make such a difference in my ability to make decisions? I don’t know. I just know that something inside of me changed when I saw those pink lines and I can’t go back. … More The Broken Lighthouse
I have rarely spoken his name and almost never heard it said. That’s the part about miscarriage that makes you feel insane. You fall instantly in love with someone you have never met, never seen, and have barely known. I decided afterwards that I needed to give my baby a name and a gender. Of … More Isaac, My Little Lamb
God is not just radical; He is gentle. He is rearing us with both a firm hand and the quiet pats of evening sleep. He reminds us that we are not forsaken, teaches us to rest through the darkness, and lulls is into peaceful dreams. … More God’s Gentle Patting
Sometimes pieces of your past and pieces of your future die at the same time.
My grandmother and my baby are both gone and both missed, but my Hope survived. … More A Funeral, a Miscarriage, and Undying Hope