To Isaac:

To Isaac: “I love someone that was never born.” I saw that on a keychain that must have been made by a parent as empty as I am. I should have seen your face today, but instead I am using a due date calculator to try to convince myself that maybe I got the due date wrong. I never actually had one, not really. Maybe it’s tomorrow or maybe I missed it already. Even mothers who have lost their child have selfish mom moments. Well, mine is happening right now. … More To Isaac:

The Broken Lighthouse

It’s like the light is out in the lighthouse and I don’t know how to navigate my life anymore. I never had the lighthouse to look at before, so why does it matter if the light is out now? How can someone that I never met make such a difference in my ability to make decisions? I don’t know. I just know that something inside of me changed when I saw those pink lines and I can’t go back. … More The Broken Lighthouse

Wind-Up Toy

When suddenly, one day, it was quiet her mind
She heard a strange thumping noise, familiar and kind
A wind-up toy that found herself suddenly unwound
Could hear, or feel, an almost undetectable sound
Pounding in a chest more used to hearing cymbals clang
The toy began to weep. Through tears of sorrow she sang,
“I have often wondered what it felt like to be real
But I had no idea how much it would hurt to feel
How can I keep singing with this pain inside my chest?
Will anyone sing with me this song of brokenness?” … More Wind-Up Toy

The Dwelling

Desperate for knowledge instead of wisdom, we are looking for a quick fix to an ancient sin. We want control instead of instruction. We want a map instead of a guide. And we want desperately to see the end of our journey before we begin. … More The Dwelling

Abide in my Love

|8| By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. |9| As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. ABIDE IN MY LOVE. There is one imperative sentence in all of John 15:8-9; one command, one directive, one thing we are told to … More Abide in my Love

The God in my Gut

I have treated the God in my gut like a long distance friend and made an acquaintance out of his Word. As I inhale my sin and try to push out the blood that ran from the cross all those years ago; I find that it runs in my very veins now. And when the ancient hymn hits my ears – it is well with my soul – MY soul feels more like a prisoner of war. And the final verse – my sin, not in part but the whole – seems like the delusions of a misguided lyricist. … More The God in my Gut